An article by Richard James Rogers (Award-Winning Author of The Quick Guide to Classroom Management and The Power of Praise: Empowering Students Through Positive Feedback). This blog post has been beautifully illustrated by Pop Sutthiya Lertyongphati.
As teachers, we are mindful of the omnipresent and aspirational societal expectations that we are constantly subject to. Whilst these expectations vary slightly from country to country and territory to territory, we are generally expected to be better behaved, more mature and more conservative than those who work in the majority of other professions, fields, trades and industries.
There are good reasons for this, of course. Children are guided by us and look up to us, so we have to be exceptional role models for them. In some countries, like the UK for example, we are even given the glistening designation of ‘Person of Good Standing’ and are even entrusted to sign people’s photographs to aid in their application for new passports.
Since we are expected to be so much, for so many people, this can leave many of us wondering how to seek out a new relationship partner. Are we allowed to have a dating profile, for example? What would happen if a member of the public recognised me on a dating app? Would they have grounds to complain to my school? Which dating apps are acceptable for teachers to use? Should we use more conservative dating apps, like Bumble, or can we go for apps that (unfortunately) have been tarnished with the reputation of being more ‘hookup’ focussed, like Tinder?
In this blog post I aim to answer these questions as best as I can.
What’s the official guidance on teacher conduct as it applies to dating app usage?
Whilst teaching regulatory bodies from various countries and jurisdictions have issued extensive guidance regarding teachers’ use of social media and electronic communication, there appears to be no specific government-issued guidance exclusively for teachers regarding dating apps at the time of writing. However, there are some general guidelines that have been issued by various educational and safety organisations that I will delineate below:
- Schools generally have codes of conduct that include guidelines on social media use, which can (sometimes) extend to dating apps. Teachers should maintain strict privacy settings on their social media accounts and avoid mentioning their school or adding students and parents as ‘friends’ online. The guidelines outlined in a typical school’s Code of Conduct/Staff Handbook are intended to protect teachers’ professional reputations and prevent any potential conflicts or inappropriate interactions (Schools Week).
- The UK Safer Internet Centre reiterates and emphasises the importance of online safety for educators. Teachers are advised to be cautious about the personal information they share online and to separate their professional and personal lives as much as possible. This extends to our behaviour on dating apps to ensure we do not compromise our professional integrity. They recommend not using location-based dating apps at work to avoid unintentional interactions with students or colleagues (UK Safer Internet Centre).
- Although specifically for doctors and dentists, Health Education England has issued guidance that can be relevant to teachers as well. This guidance advises against using dating apps at work and highlights the risks of geolocation features on these apps, which can inadvertently expose users to colleagues or students. It also stresses the importance of maintaining professional standards online and avoiding any actions that could lead to reputational damage or legal issues (Health Education England North East).
My personal advice on this issue
The good news for all of us is that, in the absence of official government guidance specifically for teachers and their dating app usage, it would be challenging for any school to enact disciplinary procedures on the grounds that a teacher simply has a dating profile to begin with. However, the rules and expectations become blurry when considering how we should behave on such apps, as this does fall under the umbrella category of ‘acceptable social media usage’ and ‘acceptable electronic communication’. Here are my guidelines to keep teachers as safe as possible when using dating apps:
- In the first instance, check your school’s Code of Conduct and Staff Handbook, to see if any mention is made of dating app usage. Also, check the employment contract you signed – that may also contain references to dating apps, and your contract may also legally bind you to the terms outlined in the Code of Conduct/Staff Handbook.
- Most teachers won’t feel confident enough to ask their headteacher or a member of the Senior Leadership Team about guidance regarding dating app usage. After all, it’s a very personal topic and not something we want to raise at work, especially with our bosses! However, it may be a wise move to seek such advice (and get the guidelines in writing – as an email, for example) as at least then you’ll be clear about the school’s expectations. This written confirmation from your Headteacher or other senior leader will also serve as protection should a parent/student see your dating profile and complain in future. In the unlikely case of litigation being filed, that email you asked for could be a key piece of evidence for your defense lawyer to use in a court case.
- Once you’ve been given the green light to actually have a dating profile to begin with (either through your inspection of school documents, such as your contract, or via a discussion with your Headteacher/Senior Leader), you then need to be mindful of your dating profile. Keep it clean, make sure your photos are clean and do not mention your school in the profile – you almost always need permission to mention any organization in a social media post. If you mention your school on your dating profile, then they could use that as a key piece of evidence in any disciplinary proceedings that they may wish to enact, should they discover your profile.
- Whilst the guidance from the UK Safer Internet Centre and HEENE cited earlier advises teachers not use to location-based dating apps/to turn geolocation off, this is incredibly challenging as most dating apps these days require location services to be switched on. Where possible, however, use apps that do not require geolocation or, as a minimum safety protocol, do not use location-based dating apps whilst at work (we shouldn’t be accessing any dating app whilst at school, actually).
- Watch out for the age-range of potential matches that you specify on the app. If you select, say, ‘Women aged 18 – 29′, then you may find that some high school students in your area may have made a profile specifying their age as ’18’ (even when they might be younger than that). Again, specifying an age range that begins at 18 could be problematic from a legal standpoint too, as it could be implied that you were knowingly searching for school-age children. Be sensible – set your matches for a respectable, non-debatable minimum adult age, say at 23 years or older. Watch out for default age-ranges for matches set by some dating apps too, as they often start at age 18.
- Apps that rely on ‘swiping’, as opposed to openly accessible websites (where every profile is visible) are probably the safest for teachers. You’ll be exposed to fewer people who can see your information and such apps usually have a paywall in-place to ensure that only subscribed users can swipe on an unlimited number of profiles.
- Utilise apps that rely heavily on payment for access, especially if payment is needed for messaging. If only paid members can message you, then that will exclude the overwhelming majority of unauthorised users who can see your information.
- Do not put personal information on your dating app profile, such as social media links or phone numbers. Some apps will allow non-paying users to see this information, which can be problematic as students, parents and colleagues could potentially see your profile and message you on one of your chosen messaging apps (such as WhatsApp).
- If you suspect that a student, parent or colleague has messaged you, then handle that professionally. Seek your school’s official guidance on the matter. In the case of a student/parent, it is probably best to take screenshots of the chat log and block the user, and then inform your school’s Designated Safeguarding Lead. In the case of a colleague, it may depend on the nature of the messages. Again, screenshot (for evidence), block and report if you feel that’s necessary.
- Consider using dating apps that are specifically made for teachers (yes, they do exist!). Apps such as Edudate (which has even been featured on the Times Educational Supplement and BBC Radio 5 Live) and Just Teacher’s Dating are designed to help forge romantic connections between educators. If that sounds like your thing, then why not try it out?
Overall Conclusion
According to 2023 statistics from the Pew Research Center, around 53% of single individuals in the United States under 50 actively seeking relationships had an online dating service at that time or had used one within the past year. Dating apps are already a big part of our lives as adults seeking romantic connections, and their popularity seems set to continue to grow as the years go by.
As teachers, we need to be mindful of our special role in society and act in such a way as to protect ourselves when using dating apps. Seek your school’s guidance, keep your profile clean, do not share personal information on your profile, turn off geolocation (if you can) and keep everything behind paywalls if possible. Be mindful, also, of the age range of potential matches as set on your profile.
References and citations
- Arrowsmith, S. (2024) ‘Who can sign a passport photo – UK’, Passport Photo Online, 16 January. Available at: https://passport-photo.online/en-gb/blog/sign-passport-photo/ (Accessed: 3 June 2024).
- Rogers, R. (2018) ‘How should teachers behave on social media?’, Richard James Rogers, 7 October. Available at: https://richardjamesrogers.com/2018/10/07/how-should-teachers-be-professional-with-social-media/ (Accessed: 3 June 2024)
- Lynas, J. (2017) ‘How schools can avoid social media teacher scandals’, Schools Week, 8 April. Available at: https://schoolsweek.co.uk/how-schools-can-avoid-social-media-teacher-scandals/ (Accessed: 3 June 2024).
- UK Safer Internet Centre (n.d.) ‘Back to school: Social media advice for teachers from the Professionals Online Safety Helpline’, UK Safer Internet Centre. Available at: https://saferinternet.org.uk/guide-and-resource/back-to-school-social-media-advice-for-teachers-from-the-professionals-online-safety-helpline (Accessed: 3 June 2024).
- Health Education England North East (HEENE) (2023) ‘Dating App Guidance for Doctors and Dentists in Training’, Health Education England. Available at: https://madeinheene.hee.nhs.uk/Portals/42/Dating%20App%20Guidance%20for%20DDiT_1.pdf (Accessed: 3 June 2024).
- Pew Research Center (2023) ‘The who, where, and why of online dating in the U.S.’, Pew Research Center, 2 February. Available at: https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2023/02/02/the-who-where-and-why-of-online-dating-in-the-u-s/ (Accessed: 3 June 2024).
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