A blog post by Richard James Rogers (Award-Winning Author of The Quick Guide to Classroom Management and The Power of Praise: Empowering Students Through Positive Feedback). This blog post has been beautifully illustrated by Pop Sutthiya Lertyongphati.
As teachers, we often form strong connections with our students as we guide them on their learning journeys. This can be incredibly rewarding for us – we gain much joy from helping our students to improve. However, it’s essential to maintain a professional distance to ensure that our relationships with students remain appropriate and conducive to learning. The following ten guidelines, adapted from research by Willing and Haney (1994), provide a framework for maintaining this balance. Please note that William and Haney’s research was aimed at ABE (Adult Basic Education) teachers, so I have attempted to back-extrapolate the guidance to cover high-school teaching.
Before we begin
An important note on context before we start – the guidelines described in today’s blog post are exactly that – general principles to consider. ALWAYS follow your school’s official guidance regarding professional distance – and if you’re not sure about what the expectations are for a particular scenario, then seek advice from a member of your school’s senior leadership team.
Rule #1: Know Your Own Vulnerabilities
Understanding your own personal “shadows”; unmet needs, motivations, and expectations; is crucial. As teachers, we often enjoy the appreciation we receive from students, but it’s important to avoid crossing the line into a co-dependent relationship. Recognizing this helps ensure that your role remains that of an educator, not a confidant. Whilst our students may wish to divulge sensitive information to us, it’s important that this information is passed on to the appointed safeguarding individuals in your organization in a professional manner (more on this later).
Rule #2: Understand the Temporary Nature of the Relationship
Teaching is a temporary relationship. While it’s easy to feel close to students, allowing them to perceive you as a friend can imply a level of commitment that neither party is prepared to uphold. This understanding helps in setting clear boundaries from the outset. In addition to this, the teaching role requires there to be a level of authority present within the classroom – and that authority belongs in the hands of the teacher. It is difficult to exercise a level of authority when students perceive you as a ‘friend’. We are not our students’ friends – we are their educators, and that means our focus must be on maximizing our students’ attainment and progress, and not on anything else.

Rule #3: Know Professional Standards for Behaviour
Familiarize yourself with your institution’s guidelines for out-of-class interactions with students. These rules are in place to protect both you and your students, ensuring that all interactions remain professional.
If you are someone who is designing a child safeguarding policy for your school, or if you’re seeking extra guidance, then you should definitely familiarize yourself with national and international guidelines. Some useful documents are linked below:
- Keeping Children Safe in Education [UK Government]
- Child Protection [US Department of State]
- Child Safe Policy [Australian Government, Department for Education]
- Provincial and territorial child protection legislation and policy, Government of Canada
Please note that these resources may be updated at any time, so make sure you are accessing the latest versions of the guidance.
Rule #4: Be Mindful of Your Communication
The way we communicate, through touch, language, or self-disclosure, sends messages to students. What might seem like a harmless gesture, or a casual conversation, can be misinterpreted, potentially blurring professional boundaries.
In the context of a high school teaching scenario, self-disclosure on the part of the teacher can be damaging – not least because it leads to excessive familiarity, which we should aim to avoid. Some forms of disclosure, such as describing the study habits and techniques we successfully implemented when we were students, may potentially be helpful to our learners – so, of course, there are levels to this! Revealing a personal story of pain and tragedy, however, may be not an appropriate activity for a lesson.
Seek official school guidance on the matter. In addition, when describing useful scenarios that involve a level of storytelling to students, you may wish to precede the description with….
- Some people experience/find that…………………………..
- In my experience, students who perform well do these things……………………..
- I once knew someone who…………………………
Keeping stories in a kind of ‘third person’ context can help to maintain professional distance.
In terms of touch, it is essential that you adhere to your school’s Code of Conduct and guidance. In the majority of high-school scenarios, touch should NEVER be initiated by the teacher unless:
- There is an educational purpose to the physical contact, such as adjusting body posture in a physical activity (e.g. adjusting a student’s stance in a martial arts lesson), music lesson (e.g. holding a violin bow correctly), art activity (e.g. holding a paintbrush correctly) or other scenarios. ALWAYS ask the students’ permission before initiating the physical contact and double-check with your school’s senior leadership team before beginning the course.
- There’s an essential Health and Safety purpose, such as rescuing a child from drowning, administering first aid, preventing an accident (e.g. in science class) or other scenarios.
Rule #5: Express Clear Expectations
Clearly outline the time boundaries, the learning process, and what is expected from both you and your students. This helps in establishing a professional relationship where everyone knows their roles and responsibilities.
You may to consider giving your students some time to create a class list of expectations that everyone will agree to follow. In my experience, students will often approach this with maturity and will come up with sensible suggestions, such as….
- We will raise our hands if we have questions, and we will not shout out.
- We will not play on our phones in class, and we will ask for permission to use our phones if we need to.
- We will complete our homework on time.
- We will be punctual to class.
It may be useful to bring out this list from time to time during the academic year to remind the students of the rules and expectations they have come up with.
Rule #6: Consider Students’ Perceptions of Interaction
Recognize that students may interpret personal information sharing or familiar language as signs of a personal relationship. Understanding this helps you maintain a professional distance.

Rule #7: Be Aware of Cultural Differences
Cultural expectations regarding interactions between teachers and students can vary widely. What may seem normal in one culture could be inappropriate in another. Being culturally sensitive helps in maintaining professional relationships.
Rule #8: Use Names Appropriately
The use of first names or nicknames can unintentionally create a sense of intimacy, especially when it comes to how students are expected to address their teachers. Be mindful of how you address students too, as this can affect the professional nature of your relationship. Only use the students’ official names as recorded in the school register and double-check with a senior teacher if a student requests to be addressed by a different name. Check your school’s guidance on how students should address teachers, too.
Rule #9: Dress Professionally
Your attire sends messages about how seriously you take your role. Dressing too casually can give the impression that the educational process is not important, while overly provocative clothing can cause discomfort in diverse cultural settings.
Unfortunately, whilst the issue of teacher dress codes was pretty much cut-and-dry in the twentieth century and earlier, it has become quite a controversial topic to discuss in recent years. I think it is useful to remind ourselves that, as teachers, we are representing the process of education (not just our own personal fashion preferences) through the way that we choose to dress.
Case in Point: An Anchorage District teacher was put on administrative leave after posting a clip of herself in the classroom, on X. The clip was shared by the hugely popular Libs of Tik Tok account, and the teacher in question received much criticism online due to the way she was dressed at school. You can read the full story, here. You may also wish to read my blog post which contains guidance on how teachers should behave on social media, here.
Rule #10: Know Referral Resources
Familiarize yourself with resources available for student referral and how to guide students to them. This helps in addressing students’ issues without becoming personally involved in their problems. For example, you may be lucky enough to have a school counselor employed on-site that you can refer students to. If not, then look into official partnerships the school has with local agencies and professionals.
Conclusion
By following these guidelines, we can maintain a healthy balance between being approachable and upholding the professional standards necessary for effective teaching. It’s about fostering a positive learning environment while protecting both yourself and your students from unwanted issues.
Bibliography
Willing, D.C., & Haney, H. (1994). Maintaining “Professional Distance”: A Dilemma for the ABE Teacher. Developments, 10(4), 6-7. Available at: https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED372265.pdf (Accessed: 18 August 2024).
Alaska Daily News (2024) Anchorage teacher put on administrative leave after post by prominent right-wing social media account. Available at: https://www.adn.com/alaska-news/education/2024/03/07/anchorage-teacher-put-on-administrative-leave-after-post-by-prominent-right-wing-social-media-account/ (Accessed: 18 August 2024).




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